Inner Remembering of One’s Self
Even though it seems incredible, when aspirants are observing themselves they do not remember their Self.
Indeed, beyond any doubt, aspirants do not perceive their Self; they have no cognizance of their Self.
It seems inconceivable that when Gnostic aspirants self-observe their mannerisms when they laugh, speak, walk, etc., they forget their Self; this is incredible, but true.
Nevertheless, it is indispensable to exert the remembrance of our Self while we are observing ourselves. This is fundamental in order to attain the awakening of the consciousness.
Self-observing, self-knowing, without forgetting our Self, is terribly difficult, but frightfully urgent in order to attain the awakening of the consciousness.
What we are stating seems trivial to the people who ignore that they are asleep; they ignore that they do not remember their Self, not even when they look at their bodies in a full-length mirror, moreover, not even when they observe themselves in detail meticulously.
The forgetfulness of our Self, the lack of remembering of our Self, is indeed the causa causorum of all human ignorance.
When any given person deeply comprehends that she cannot remember her Self, that she is not cognizant of her Self, then she is very close to the awakening of her consciousness.
We are stating something that has to be reflected upon deeply. What we are asserting here is very important, and if it is read mechanically, it is not possible to comprehend. Thus, our readers must reflect. Again, while self-observing, people are not capable of perceiving their own Self, of passing this perception from one center to another, etc.
To observe our own manner of speaking, laughing, walking, etc., without forgetting our Self, without loosing that awareness inside, is very difficult, and nevertheless basic, fundamental, in order to attain the awakening of the consciousness. The great master Ouspensky said,
“The first impression that I felt when I made the effort of becoming cognizant of my Being—of being cognizant of my Self as “I,” of telling my Self “I am walking, I am doing,” of trying to keep alive this awareness of “I,” of perceiving it within—was the following: thought remained asleep when I seized the “I.”That is, I could not think or speak, and even the intensity of sensations diminished. Moreover, one could stay in that state for only a very short time.”
It is necessary to dissolve the pluralized “I,” to render it to ashes, but first we must know it, to study it within the forty-nine subconscious departments, symbolized among the Gnostics by the forty-nine demons of Yaldabaoth.
If a physician is going to extirpate a cancerous tumor, first he needs to diagnose it correctly. Likewise, if one wants to dissolve the “I,” one needs to study it, to gain cognizance of it, to know it in the forty-nine subconscious departments.
During the inner remembering of our Self, in that tremendous super-effort of being cognizant of our own “I,” it is clear that the attention is divided, and here again we go to the subject of the division of attention. One part of attention goes, as is logical, towards the effort, and the other towards the ego or pluralized “I.”
The inner remembering of our Self is something more than analysis of oneself; it is a new state that is only known through direct experience.
Every human being has had some of those moments, those states of inner remembering of the Self, perhaps at a moment of infinite terror, perhaps in childhood or during some journey, when we exclaimed, “And what am I doing here? Why am I here?”
The observation of our Self accompanied simultaneously by the inner remembering of our “I” is terribly difficult, and nevertheless indispensable in order to really know ourselves.
During meditation, the pluralized “I” is always doing the opposite. When we try to comprehend lust, our ego enjoys fornication. When we try to comprehend anger, in any of the forty-nine subconscious departments of Yaldabaoth it thunders and flashes. When we want to reduce covetousness to dust, the ego covets to not be covetous.
Inner remembering of one’s Self is to become exactly aware of all those subconscious processes of “the self-willed,” the ego, the pluralized “I.”
To observe our way of thinking, speaking, laughing, walking, eating, feeling, etc., without forgetting one’s Self, of the inner processes of one’s ego, of what is happening within the forty-nine subconscious departments of Yaldabaoth, is indeed frightfully difficult, and nevertheless fundamental for the awakening of the consciousness.
Self-observation and inner remembering of one’s Self starts the development of the spatial sense, which reaches its total maturity with the awakening of the consciousness.
The chakras mentioned by Mr. Leadbeater and many other authors are in relation to the spatial sense what flowers are in relation to the tree that gives them life. What is fundamental is the tree. The spatial sense is the normal function of the awakened consciousness.
Any truly awakened person can see, hear, touch, smell, and feel everything that occurs in the forty-nine subconscious departments of Yaldabaoth.
Any truly awakened person can verify through direct experience the dreams of people, can see the dreams of the people who walk on the streets, of the people who work in factories, of those who govern people, of any creature.
Any truly awakened person can see, hear, smell, really touch and feel all things from the superior worlds. Whosoever wants to experience the reality of everything that happens in the superiors dimensions of space must awaken the consciousness here and now.